Aurora
by Shonetta
Summary: JC. The Resolutions virus resurfaces in Janeway and threatens her life.
1. Default Chapter

_Star Trek Voyager _is the property of Paramount Pictures 

**AURORA**

**PROLOGUE**

Only the sound of an old antique clock ticking in the hall broke the night silence. Aurora Janeway sat before her elegant Victorian dressing table, her raven black hair flowing over her long white nightdress trimmed with lace, and looked through a photo album bound with dark blue velvet embroidered with silver roses and birds. The edges were threadbare and the heart shaped handle of the little silver key that locked it, was worn. The key was kept in a beautiful gold jewelry box. When the lid was open, a sweet melody played and a mechanical ballerina doll danced. Aurora had kept the key there for over eight years. She had received the album as a gift on her seventh birthday and over the years had filled it with photos of people and places that were precious to her. Tears welled in her eyes as she gazed at an old picture of her mother. She was laughing happily, and the white ballerina dress she was wearing glittered in the sun. Aurora closed her eyes and could see her mother dance before her, could hear her laughter, and could feel her arms around her as she lifted her into the air and they danced together...

She missed her mother so much and had no idea if she would ever see her again. She reached inside her jewelry box and pulled out a gold locket she had only moments before taken off. It was a good-bye gift from her mother and contained a lock of her graying hair.

"I believe in the old days, darling" she had said as she presented her with the locket, "two people who were beloved to each other would exchange a lock of hair when they had to part for a long time. It was something to remember the other person by and to look at when they were missed." From her little silver bag she had pulled out a tiny scissors and a little gold box lined with white silk. "Let me have a lock of your hair too, darling."

She had tried not to cry as her mother cut off a piece of her hair and placed it in her treasure box. She had not wanted her mother to go, but knew that she had to. Then her mother had then taken her in her arms and held her tighter than she had ever held her. "I love you, Aurora," she had whispered, "so very, very, much. Always remember that."

Aurora touched the photograph, touched her mother's face. "Come home," she whispered. "Please come home."

**END OF PROLOGUE**


	2. Chapter 2

_Star Trek Voyager_ is the property of Paramount Pictures. 

**AURORA**

**CHAPTER ONE**

"Tuvok to Captain Janeway. Please come to the Bridge at once."

Kathryn stirred awake just in time to hear his second announcement. "Tuvok to Captain Janeway. Please report to the Bridge."

Kathryn sat up. "On my way, Tuvok." She rubbed her tired eyes. "Computer, what time is it?"

"The time is 0800 hours."

8 o'clock. She had been asleep for almost ten hours. Then why did it feel as though she had not slept through two? Her head ached, her vision was blurred, and her body felt unnaturally heavy. She forced herself out of bed and got dressed as quickly as she could.

* * *

"Report," Kathryn said as she entered the Bridge.

"Neelix wishes to speak with you, Captain." Tuvok replied. "He says he has important information."

Neelix. Kathryn's heart warmed at the thought of her old friend. She had missed him so much since he had left Voyager to start a new life with his own people.

"On screen."

She smiled as Neelix's image filled the view screen. "Good to see you, my friend."

"And you, Captain. But not as good as the news I have to tell you." He rubbed his hands together joyfully and could hardly contain his excitement. "There's a wormhole, approximately two hundred light years west of your current position, that leads to the Alpha Quadrant. It was created three months ago by a powerful species from another galaxy. Fortunately for us they wish only to explore and not to conquer as their technology makes yours look like cookies to cakes. It's so powerful that the wormhole won't collapse for another five months. Five months, Captain! Plenty of time for you to use it!"

Kathryn stepped closer to the view screen. This was the kind of news she had waited seven years to hear ... But she could not let her longing to believe it was true cloud her judgment. "How do you know all this, Neelix?"

"They made contact with us. They could tell this was not our natural home, and came to the conclusion that we were either explorers who had lost our way, had been drawn from our original home by the Caretaker, who apparently has caused havoc in other galaxies too, or that we lost our original planet. They wanted to know if they could help us, and told us of the wormhole leading to the Alpha Quadrant, and said they could create one leading anywhere in the universe if we wished. I told them of you and they gave me all the information you will need to find the wormhole and use it. I'm sending it to you now."

Tears welled in Kathryn's eyes. "I don't know what to say, Neelix," she said, genuinely lost for words.

"No need to say anything, Captain," he smiled. "I am your Ambassador after all."

Kathryn returned his smile. "We all miss you, Neelix."

"And I miss you all." The view screen began to flicker. "I have to go, Captain. We are having problems with communications today. Have you received everything I sent you?"

Kathryn glanced at the monitor before her. "We have."

"Then I will bid you good-bye."

"You too, Neelix. And thank you..."

He was gone.

After a moment of composing herself, Kathryn turned to her crew who were talking excitedly amongst themselves. "Alright, alright," she said with a smile. "While this is most wonderful news, let's not get our hopes up too high. It will take us at least three months to travel two hundred light years, and dangers are never far away in this Quadrant. We will all need to be alert and on our guard. We also need to bear in mind that while Neelix has provided us with this information with the best of intentions, there is still a chance his information is inaccurate. I want you all to keep this information to yourselves for the moment until we have proof that what he says is true. Then we will celebrate. Understand?"

"Yes, Captain," the crew replied in unison.

She smiled warmly. "Now, return to work." She hit her commbadge. "Janeway to Chakotay. Report to my ready room at once."

* * *

Chakotay entered the ready room, casually dressed in beige trousers and a white shirt as he was not on duty for another six hours.

"I hope you have a good excuse for waking me after night duty, Captain," he smiled.

"The best news," she said, getting up from her couch and walking over to him. "I was just talking to Neelix. There's a wormhole, two hundred light years from here, that will take us to the Alpha Quadrant." Her eyes were blazing with joy as she spoke. "Naturally, I've told the crew members who were listening not to get their hopes up. But it does look hopeful, Chakotay. Very, very, hopeful."

Chakotay was silent for a long moment, and Kathryn's joy faded as she saw he did not share it.

"Well," she said sarcastically, "there's no need to jump up and down for joy."

Chakotay stepped away from her. "I just think you're being a little presumptuous. Neelix has always been full of stories, few of them with little basis in reality. He's probably heard this from someone who's heard it from someone else and assumed it's a fact."

"He heard it from the species that created the wormhole. A very, very, powerful species. He's sent us co-ordinates and everything. He wouldn't have given us this information if he wasn't certain it was accurate. He knows how cruel that would be."

"And this region of space where the wormhole dwells, has he told us about that? Has he told us who it belongs to, or what hostilities we might encounter? Instead of sending this crew home, we might just be sending them to their graves!"

"Now who is being presumptuous? What would you have us do, ignore what Neelix has told us? Ignore the very strong likelihood there is a wormhole out there that will get us home in weeks?"

"No, of course not."

"Then what are you saying?"

"Just that we can't..."

His words were interrupted by a message from Seven. "Seven of Nine to Captain Janeway."

"Go ahead, Seven."

"I have completed scanning the region of space you asked me to and have indeed found a wormhole at the location specified."

Kathryn smiled triumphantly. "I'll be there now, Seven. Janeway out." She looked smugly at Chakotay. "You were just about to say, Commander?"

"It doesn't matter."

She put her hand on his shoulder. "I understand your reluctance to be optimistic about this, Chakotay. You don't want to believe we may finally have a way home only to find out it's a lie. That's a valid sentiment and I'm not going to dissuade you from it. It's right that we are cautious. This wormhole may exist, but it could lead to the Beta Quadrant for all we know. But until we do know for certain where it leads, I'm going to indulge in a little presumptuousness." She smiled. "Now, I'd better get down to astrometrics. I've not long made coffee, so help yourself to some if you want."

She smiled again, and then left the room. Chakotay watched her go and tears welled in his eyes. She might believe he was afraid of setting himself up for a disappointment, but the truth of the matter was that he did not want Voyager to get home. Voyager was the only place he had truly been happy, where he had truly belonged. Even though he knew the chance of Kathryn every returning his love was remote, while they were in the Delta Quadrant, he still lived in hope that one day she would feel the same. If they returned to earth, that hope would be gone forever. She would be showered with honors for getting Voyager home, perhaps even be made an Admiral, and would be surrounded by men far more distinguished than him. He buried his head in his hands and tried to push such selfish thoughts out of his mind. For seven years getting Voyager home had been Kathryn's one unwavering goal and he had not seen such joy on her face for a long, long, time. For her sake, he hoped this wormhole was all that she had been led to believe.

* * *

Kathryn looked up from her desk into a bunch of beautiful summer flowers.

"A peace offering," Chakotay said, handing them to her.

Kathryn took them and let herself drown in the fragrance. "They're beautiful, Chakotay. But I wasn't aware we were at war."

"No, but I behaved terribly this morning. I'm sorry."

She looked deep into his eyes and saw that he wanted her to accept his apology, even though she thought there was no need for one.

"Apology accepted."

A peace returned to his eyes and he smiled. She went over to the replicator to replicate a vase of water.

"Any more news on the wormhole?"

"No," she answered, picking up the vase and bringing it over to her desk. "But Seven and Tuvok are working on it. We should know in a few hours if it does indeed lead to the Alpha Quadrant."

She put the flowers in the vase, sorting them out to her liking. Chakotay watched her sort them out according to size, color and type. She was as methodical in this as she was everything else, and he couldn't help be amused by it.

"In the meantime, I suggest we all forget about the wormhole and carry on with our lives as normal." She put the last flower in the vase.

"There. How does it look?"

"Wonderful," he smiled.

Kathryn shivered unexpectedly.

"Cold?"

"Yes, a little. Computer, rise heating five percent." She turned to Chakotay. "I was just about to replicate dinner, care to join me?"

"I would love to, but I'm only half way through my shift."

"Of course. Well, you can look forward to the delight I intend to cook for us tomorrow."

He smiled. "Do I get any hints? Any suggestions on whether I should wear teeth protection?"

She teasingly poked his stomach. "Careful, Commander, or I will make you cook dinner instead."

* * *

The headache was getting worse. Kathryn tried to concentrate on the screen before her, but it was no use. The words and numbers blurred into each other until all she saw was a maze of color. She looked away and took a deep breath.

All was normal.

She switched off the monitor and sat back in her chair, rubbing her aching eyes. She needed to take a break, needed to rest. She was overworking herself. She got up and went over to the replicator.

"Coffee, bla... No, cancel that request. Fresh apple juice."

The apple juice materialized and Kathryn drank it in one go. Her throat was dry and the cold liquid was very soothing.

The door chime sounded.

"Come in!"

Seven came in with Tuvok. Kathryn couldn't tell from either of their faces whether they bore good news, bad news, or no news at all.

"We have the results of the wormhole analysis, Captain," Tuvok said, handing her his PADD."

Kathryn's mouth was dry again, but this time from nerves. "And?"

"All the information Neelix gave us is correct. It is indeed a wormhole leading to the Alpha Quadrant and will not collapse for approximately 155 days and 12.5 hours."

It took a moment for the news to sink in, then Kathryn smiled through tears.

"Let's inform the crew."

* * *

The celebrations lasted well past midnight. Voyager's holodecks pulsated with light and sound as the young crew members partied the hours away. Kathryn had stayed a while to celebrate with her crew, but the light and noise hurt her head and she retreated to the quieter party that was happening in the Mess Hall. Chakotay was there, as were Tom and B'Elanna, Seven, and the Doctor. Tuvok and his fellow Vulcans were keeping an eye on the ship, and Kathryn was silently grateful. She slipped unnoticed into the room, and in that moment missed Neelix dreadfully. Already he would have been making his way over to her and telling her all that he had prepared to eat and drink. She picked up a glass of wine as she passed a table full of food and drink, and then stood watching the people. They all looked so incredibly happy and a lump gathered in her throat. All she wanted with her whole being was to get this crew home, but oh how she would miss them. Her eyes wandered from Tom and B'Elanna to Seven, to the Doctor, and rested on Chakotay. She would find saying good-bye to him hardest of all. Seven years ago she had been sent on a mission to capture him, but all that was captured was her heart. She had fought tooth and nail not to fall in love with him, had given herself a thousand reasons why she should not, but it had been the only one hopeless battle she had ever engaged in. He was so kind, thoughtful, and gentle, and everything she could ever want in a man. He had once told her in a beautiful ancient legend that he loved her, but she had not loved him then the way she loved him now. Then she was still coming to terms with losing Mark and her heart was not yet ready to love again. When she was finally ready, it seemed as though he had moved on, and she did not want to open old wounds. Their professional relationship as Captain and Officer also complicated matters and it seemed best to let sleeping dogs lie.

He must have felt the weight of her stare as he turned to look at her. He smiled warmly and made his way over to her.

"I didn't think we would see you in here, Captain," he teased. "I thought you wouldn't be able to escape all the eager young males who would like to dance with you."

"The same could be said about you in regards to females," she smiled, sitting at a table before them. "But I think there is hardly a single person on this ship who has not paired up with..." She suddenly felt dizzy and raised her hand to her head. She felt Chakotay's concerned hand on her shoulder. "Kathryn?"

"I'm alright. Just tired." She stood up. "I think it's time I went to bed."

"Do you want me to accompany you?"

Kathryn's lip twitched in embarrassed amusement and he blushed crimson.

"I mean, would you like me to accompany you to your quarters?"

"No," she smiled. "I'll be alright. But thank you."

* * *

The Bridge was almost deserted the next day as everyone recovered from their night of celebration. Only Tom Paris and Tuvok were present when Chakotay arrived. He took his seat and began to read the reports that were waiting for him.

Tom turned to him. "Is the Captain joining all those who are not reporting for duty because of hangoveritis?"

"I hardly think so, Lieutenant," he smiled. "Why do you ask?"

"She hasn't made an appearance yet, that's all."

"Well, she's probably busy in her ready room. Not even the latest of late nights would keep the Captain from duty."

"Know from personal experience, do we?"

Chakotay looked up at him. "And what is that supposed to mean?"

"What does she do, kick you out of bed at dawn so that your rendezvous' go unnoticed?"

Chakotay shook his head. "I can see why the holodeck is your domain, you have a very active imagination. The Captain and I are friends, nothing more."

"And Prince Charming married one of the ugly sisters. Come on, Chakotay, candlelight dinners, moonlight sails on Lake George..."

Kathryn suddenly appeared, coffee in hand. "Who is going for a moonlight sail on Lake George?"

Tom flushed to his hair roots. "B'lanna and I."

"Well, make sure you take Lucinda," she said, taking her seat. "She beats them all."

"I never take another boat, Ma'am."

"Glad to hear it."

"You and the Commander should join us. We could have a picnic."

"And spoil your romantic evening? I'm sure your wife wouldn't be too pleased about that."

"I think she'd be very happy ... one couple joining another."

Kathryn eyed him suspiciously. "Why do I get the feeling I'm missing something?"

Chakotay and Tom smiled at each other, and Kathryn sat straighter in her chair. "I am missing something. Come on, share the joke."

"We were just commenting on your absence from the Bridge this morning," Tom said. "You are never late and I, being me, was making up a Cinderella story."

Kathryn settled back into her chair, her sluggish mind unable to focus. "You make no sense, Tom Paris."

"Did I ever, Captain?"

"No, I don't believe you ever have." She drank some of her hot coffee and then lay her head back against her seat. It felt as though a dozen Kingons were going ten rounds in her head. Chakotay watched her in concern. She looked so pale and tired and there were black rings under her eyes.

"Are you alright, Captain?"

"I'm fine," she said, sitting up and finishing her coffee.

"You don't look fine. I want you to go and see the Doctor."

"There's nothing wrong with me."

"Then you won't mind going to the Doctor and being proved right."

Kathryn turned her head to his and looked into determined eyes. "I don't have a choice in this, do I?"

"Not if you want a quiet life."

She sighed through a smile. "Very well. I'll go and see the Doctor."

She handed him her cup of coffee and left the Bridge. As she disappeared into the lift, Tom turned to Chakotay.

"I want you to go and see the Doctor?"

Chakotay shook his head. "You're incorrigible. Now, get back to work before this First Officer throws you in the brig."

* * *

"There's no need for further examination, Doctor," Kathryn said as the EMH began to manually examine her glands after examining her with his tricorder. "All I need is something to take away this infernal headache."

"Headaches have an underlying cause, Captain. It's my job to determine what it is."

"Too much work and too many late nights trying to keep up with it, Doctor," she said as he began scanning her again. "And if you keep me any longer, I will be having an even later night than usual. Just give me something to make this damn headache go away."

The Doctor stepped away from her, and hurried over to his monitors, analyzing data there intently. "Very well, Captain," he said absently.

* * *

Kathryn lay curled up on her couch. Her headache had returned and was worse than ever. It hurt even to open her eyes. The door chime sounded.

"Come in," she said, sitting up a little.

It was Chakotay. He looked around and saw the table was bare and no food prepared. Just as he expected.

"I take it dinner's off tonight?"

"Dinner?" Kathryn rubbed her eyes. "Oh yes, dinner. I'm sorry, I forgot."

He went over to her. "A good thing, then, that I have cooked dinner for us."

Kathryn's stomach heaved at the thought of food and she unconsciously put her hand to her mouth.

"But something tells me you're not hungry." He studied her in concern. She looked dreadful, far worse than she had done earlier. "Did the Doctor really say you are perfectly well?"

"Not exactly."

"Then what did he say?"

"That I need to take things easier."

"I'll second that. You spread yourself too thin. I worry there'll be nothing left of you."

"Well," she smiled. "If I evaporate, you get to be Captain." She retreated into her curled up position. "I think you should go now. I'm tired and want to sleep off this headache."

"What you need is to eat something. You skipped lunch, and I dare say you skipped breakfast too. No wonder you have a headache." He knelt on the floor before her. "You must at least try to eat, Kathryn."

She closed her eyes. "I don't want anything. And besides, I don't think I could hold it down."

Chakotay noticed the way she was holding her stomach, rubbing it softly. She was a lot more ill than he had thought. He stroked her hair softly. "I'm summoning the Doctor."

"No, there's no need..."

"There's every need."

"I'll be better tomorrow..." she said quietly. "And don't touch me there... it hurts."

That was it, she was having the Doctor, like it or not. He tapped his commbadge. "Chakotay to the Doctor."

"Doctor here."

"Come to the Captain's quarters at once."

"Yes, Commander."

Kathryn moaned in frustration. "No, Chakotay, I'm alright."

"I won't be happy until I've heard that from the Doctor myself," he said, standing up.

The Doctor materialized, his medical case and tricorder in hand.

"You are not needed, Doctor," Kathryn said before he had a chance to move a holographic muscle or to speak.

"Well that's most charming," he said in his ususal sarcastic manner. "When someone has a problem I'm the most popular man on the ship, but as soon as someone is ill, I'm the most avoided..."

"I'm in no mood for one of your philosophies, Doctor," she replied, getting to her feet. "Commander Chakotay summoned you here, he can entertain you. I'm going to bed."

The Doctor seized her arm. "You are going no where until I've examined you."

Kathryn fixed on him her death glare. "Excuse me?"

"You are ill, Captain, and you need to be treated. If you continue to behave in this uncooperative fashion, you will leave me with no choice but to relieve you of duty."

Kathryn glanced at Chakotay and saw on his face that she would have no support from him. "Very well, do what you must."

The Doctor turned to Chakotay. "Commander... if you please..."

Chakotay realized it was his cue to leave. "I'll wait outside."

Kathryn watched as Chakotay left the room and swallowed as the silver doors shut behind him. She was alone with the Doctor and dreaded what his prognosis would be. Never in her entire life had she felt so ill.

"Take a seat, Captain."

"I'm fine standing," she said defiantly.

"I must insist that you sit."

She sighed, but did as he said. He scanned her thoroughly and then stepped away.

"As I suspected this morning, but did not want to say anything until I was absolutely certain. You are suffering from Virus X."

"Virus X?"

"The name I gave the virus you and Commander Chakotay contracted five years ago from an insect bite."

Kathryn shook her head in disbelief. "That's impossible. Chakotay and I were both cured of it."

"Apparently not, Captain. I have studied your medical history of the past five years, and with the benefit of hindsight, all indications are that the virus was sent into remission in you and now has recurred, far more virulent than before."

"If that were so, why is Chakotay not sick?"

"I have analyzed his medical history too and it seems that he was indeed cured of it."

Kathryn stood up, her fear and bewilderment blinding her to her body's weakness. "How can he be cured of it and not me?"

"The indication is that the medicine was only truly effective on human male physiology." He put his hand on her shoulder. "I'm sorry, Captain."

There was a long silence.

"Without a cure," she began nervously, "how long do I have to live?"

"I can't say with all certainty," the Doctor replied. "It could be hours, it could be days."

"I see."

The Doctor watched, his heart breaking, as she sat calmly on her sofa. "Of course, Captain, I will continue to work at finding a cure for the virus and we can't give up hope. Commander Chakotay was cured and if I can find out why it only cures the human male, then I can modify the medicine to make it effectively treat the female aswell. Seven will have to help me if..."

"If there is any chance you will find a cure in time?"

The Doctor sat beside her. "Of course, there is an alternative to a cure."

"What's that?"

"We find you an m-class planet to live on. For some reason the virus is only deadly in an artificial environment. The natural environment of an m-class planet will protect you from the effects of the virus."

"No, Doctor," Kathryn said firmly. "I would rather die this minute aboard this ship than spend the rest of my life alone on a planet."

"I understand that, Captain, but just hear me out. We could put you on a planet while we continue to investigate the illness. Then when we have a cure, we could bring you back to Voyager."

"And how long would it take to find a cure? Weeks, months, years? We don't have that kind of time! We have to get to that wormhole before it collapses!"

The Doctor took her hand. "The crew love you, Captain. I'm certain they would choose to help you rather than go in pursuit of the wormhole."

"I couldn't put them in that position, Doctor. This might be our only chance of getting home for a long, long, time. My life is not worth losing that chance." She squeezed the Doctor's hand. "Promise me you will tell no one about this."

"Captain," he protested, "unless I can find a cure, you are going to be very ill, very quickly. The crew will need an explanation."

"All they need to know is that I am dying from a virus."

"And what of Seven? I will need her help in finding a cure."

"New Earth was before her time on this ship and she knows little about it. You need not tell her where I contracted the virus, or how. Promise me you will tell no one."

The Doctor could not ignore the desperate plea in her eyes. "Very well, Captain. I promise. But the Commander must at least be made aware of the severity of your condition."

Kathryn drew her hand away and retreated from him. "He doesn't have to know yet."

"I'm afraid he does, Captain. In hours you could be..." He could not say the words. "As you say, Captain. Time is a luxury we don't have." He hit his commbadge. "Doctor to Commander Chakotay."

"Go ahead, Doctor."

"You may come in now."

Moments later the doors opened and Chakotay came in.

"I hope the Captain is being a good patient," he smiled. "You always say that..."

He stopped when he saw the look of anguish on the two faces before him.

The Doctor stood up. "I'm afraid I have bad news, Commander."

Chakotay swallowed and his face paled. "What news?"

Kathryn got up and went over to the window, struggling not to cry. At moments like this, the Doctor wished he had never developed human emotions. "The Captain has contracted a virus that I am presently unable to treat. I will naturally do all that I can to find a cure, but there is not a lot of time. Without a cure, the Captain has only days, if not hours, to live."

Chakotay stared at him, and the look on his face, the Doctor never wished to see on another living being again.

"There has to be some mistake," he whispered at last.

"If only that were the case, Commander."

Tears welled in Chakotay's eyes and they shifted focus to settle on Kathryn, who was staring out of the window. He could hardly breathe from the pain in his heart. Kathryn dying? No, it could not be ... Kathryn had beaten the Borg, the Kazon, defied death every day. An illness could not claim her life...

"If you have any questions, Commander, you know where to find me. Every moment is precious and I must return to work." He hit his

commbadge. "Doctor to transporter room. Send me back to sickbay."

Seconds later he dematerialized.

For a long time neither Kathryn or Chakotay moved or spoke.

"Well, Commander," Kathryn said at last, turning to him. "It looks as though you will soon be promoted."

She inhaled sharply when she saw his eyes were wet with tears. He slowly walked over to her and without a word took her in his arms. He had never held her before, and for a moment Kathryn was unsure how to respond, but almost instinctively her arms went around him.

"You won't die, Kathryn," he whispered. "We'll find a cure, I know we will."

She leant her head against his shoulder. "That's unlikely, Chakotay."

"I will not accept that," he said tearfully. "And how can you? How can the woman who could never accept we could be stranded in this Quadrant for the rest of our lives, accept that in days she might be dead from a virus?"

Kathryn drew slightly away from him. "Because what other choice is there?"

"To fight. To believe we will find you a cure as strongly as you believed you would find us one when we were on New Earth."

Kathryn touched his tears. Only once before had she seen him cry this way, or rather an hallucination of him cry, and the memory flooded back to her now ... the ghost of herself watching as her body did not respond to his attempts to revive her ... his tears, his grief, the way he had collected her in his arms and held her tight against him, crying out her name when he thought she was dead... It frightened her that he could love her so much, and it frightened her because she knew that he did... or had once.

"It did me no good then, Chakotay, and it will do me no good now. I'm dying, and I have to accept it." A tear ran down her cheek. "You are going to have to get Voyager home. And you will, I know you will."

Chakotay drew her close again. He wanted to tell her that he loved her, that he could not bear the thought of losing her, but he could not be that selfish. She had made it clear how she felt about him and what she wanted from him; friendship and professionalism, nothing more.

"Tuvok to Captain Janeway."

Kathryn hesitantly drew away from Chakotay. "Janeway here."

Her voice was coarse with emotion, but the Vulcan did not seem to notice.

"Captain, you are needed on the Bridge."

"What's the problem?"

"Some kind of anomaly that is interfering with the ship's systems."

"I'll be right there. Janeway out."

Chakotay stared at her in disbelief. "You're in no condition to go anywhere, much less to the Bridge!"

"I'll be alright."

She walked away from him, but dizziness once again overcame her and she swayed. Chakotay gripped her, steadying her, and helped her to sit.

"You're right," she whispered. "I can't serve my crew like this." She lay down. "I make you Captain of Voyager."

A tear ran down Chakotay's cheek. "You are Captain of this ship, Kathryn. And as long as you live, will remain so."

* * *

The anomaly turned out to be nothing of consequence, and as soon as the ship moved beyond it, all systems returned to normal.

"We needn't have disturbed you and the Captain after all," Tom said, swiveling to face Chakotay. "Morning sickness, headaches, delegating to you in an emergency... It all can only mean one thing... The pitter patter of tiny feet. I'll have to tell B'Elanna she's in good company."

Chakotay stood up and seized Tom by his uniform. The violent action took the Lieutenant by surprise as Chakotay was always so gentle.

"If you can't say anything sensible, Paris, then I suggest you keep that big mouth of yours shut."

He pushed Tom away and left the Bridge.

"What's with him? I was only joking."

"Sometimes there is a fine line between joking and insulting," Tuvok replied, "which is why we Vulcan's never joke."

"Well, I say Chakotay needs to lighten up. We all know he and the Captain are lovers. Why they won't admit it?"

"We don't all "know", Mr Paris," Tuvok continued. "And I for one do not believe that they are."

"Oh come on, Tuvok. You must have noticed the way they look at each other, and they are simply electric together. Not even lightening contains as much electricity as flows between them."

"There is a difference between having feelings and acting upon them, Mr Paris. I have observed an attachment between the Captain and First Officer, but only an attachment, not a relationship. And, might I add, if they were intimately involved, it would be none of our business."

"I just don't see the point in them hiding their feelings from the rest of us. In three months time we could be home, but none of us knew we would make it so quickly. We thought we would be here for the rest of our lives. No one at Starfleet command will start shouting protocol at them."

"No, Lieutenant. But what the Captain and Commander do is their concern."

"Well," Tom said, taking his seat again. "All I can say is that if they are not lovers, they damn well should be."

* * *

Chakotay found Kathryn sitting in her bed, her laptop before her. He went over to her. "I hope you are not working."

"No," she smiled. "I was just looking though a couple of photo albums I keep on my computer."

"Of Voyager?"

"And before. I have photos from almost every aspect of my life."

"I would love to see them."

Kathryn laughed. "Even the ones of me with pig tails and freckles?"

"Especially those. I've never seen a picture of you as a little girl."

She patted the bed. "Then come sit beside me. Though I warn you, I'm not a pretty sight."

Chakotay made his way to the other side of the bed and climbed upon it, sitting beside her. She moved the screen a little so he could have a good view of it too, and then opened the first album. Two pictures came on the screen, one of a pregnant lady and the second of a baby dressed in a frilly white gown.

"That's my mother pregnant with me," Kathryn said, pointing to her. "She was about seven months pregnant at the time."

Chakotay studied the woman. She looked a lot like Kathryn. She had the same eyes, the same color hair, and the same smile. "You look a lot like her."

"Yes. My sister, Phoebe, looked more like our father."

Chakotay pointed to the baby. "And I take it this little cutey is you."

Kathryn smiled. "Yes. It was taken at my christening. My mother holds many traditional beliefs and both my sister and I were christened."

She forwarded to the next page. "This was me at three years old."

Chakotay smiled at the little girl with long ginger hair clashing over a bright pink Ballerina leotard and tutu.

"Every girl in my class wore pink," she said, "and I insisted on wearing it too, even though my mother said redheads don't wear pink." She gestured to the picture opposite. "At least our school uniform was blue, so it complemented my hair better."

"You make it sound as though your hair was a burden."

"Believe me it was, Chakotay," she said, forwarding to the next page. "Those with blonde hair or brown hair could wear just about anything, but put me in certain colors and I looked as though I belonged to a circus! For weeks I cried myself to sleep wishing I had jet black hair. The first day I left home for Starfleet Academy, I dyed it precisely that color. The trouble was it came out with a distinctive green hue, and I ended up having to have all my waist long hair cut off."

Chakotay laughed and then gazed at her hair. It was so beautiful. He loved the way it shone gold when the light fell upon it and the way it curled stubbornly at times. "Your hair color is perfect," he said softly.

Kathryn turned to him and the way he was looking at her made her catch her breath. There was so much warmth in his eyes. She wanted with her whole heart to reach out and touch him, but the reasoning part of her mind stopped her. Chakotay broke their gaze, turning again to the screen. There was a picture of what appeared to be Kathryn's family.

"Your family?"

"Yes. My mother, father, Phoebe, and all my aunts, uncles, and cousins. It was taken at my eighth birthday party. I always used to have relatives to my birthday parties as I didn't have many friends."

"Why not?"

"Because I was a swot. Of course that made me very popular when it was exam time, but most of the time I was ignored. Keenie Kath they called me."

"It must have hurt."

"Oh," she said, forwarding hastily to the next page. "I never let it bother me. I was too in love with study."

She may have told herself that often enough so that she believed it, but he did not. He knew how much it hurt not to belong.

"This was me at thirteen and sixteen," she continued. "As you can see, not a lot of difference, except we had just been camping and all that sun had really brought out my freckles."

He smiled. "You look like a girl from St Trinian's."

"From St where?"

"A twentieth century movie Tom was showing me the other day. He wants his daughter to be well versed in twentieth century filmography and this was on the viewing list. A great movie if you want your child to be a rebel, but I think Tom was quite oblivious to that."

Kathryn laughed. "I really hated wearing those pigtails. As soon as I was out of the house, I used to take them out. Of course, for all photographs I had to wear them."

A pain suddenly gripped her insides and she clutched her stomach. Chakotay lifted the computer from her lap and put it on the table next to the bed.

"Lie down," he said softly, helping her to do so. "That might ease the pain."

He picked up a hypospray, containing pain killers, and put it to her neck. In seconds she was calmer.

"That's better," she whispered.

The drug was powerful and made her sleepy. Chakotay felt so helpless and wished with all his might that it was he lying there instead of her. He gazed at the image of sixteen year old Kathryn on the computer screen. She looked so happy, so full of life - like the daughter he could have had with her if they had met when they were younger and in different circumstances.

"You can go now, Chakotay," Kathryn said softly. "There's no need to stay."

"I want to," he said, reaching for her hand. Kathryn placed her hand on top of his.

"It's getting late," she continued, her words beginning to take considerable effort as her body began to fall asleep. "You need to..." Her hand became limps in his and her next word was but a whisper, "...rest "

Her head drooped slightly to the side, telling Chakotay she was asleep. He kissed her hand softly and then stroked her brow tenderly. For the longest time he just sat beside her, gazing at her, memorizing every feature, and didn't even try to fight the tears falling down his cheeks.

* * *

All was silent but for the sound of Kathryn's soft breathing. From a distant chair, Chakotay watched her sleep. Hours must have passed but for him it seemed both a second and an eternity. Her breathing quickened and she stirred slowly, a sign that she was waking. Chakotay got up and went over to the bed. Kathryn was sweating heavily, as she had been for a while, and was finding breathing increasingly difficult. Her eyes opened, but immediately shut again, and she tossed her head to and fro in distress, almost weeping.

Chakotay took her hand in his and stroked her brow. "I'm here, Kathryn. I'm here."

She seemed to calm at that and squeezed his hand.

He climbed into the bed beside her and drew her into his arms. She nestled close to him and soon was asleep again.

* * *

Chakotay had fallen asleep holding Kathryn. When he woke, he found her lying just as he had laid her, only her arm was tightly around him. He caressed her softly, but she was ice cold to the touch. He drew away from her and frightened tears welled in his eyes at what he saw. Her face was white and her lips a strange purple. He his commbadge.

"Chakotay to the Doctor. Come to the Captain's quarters at once."

"On my way."

Chakotay caressed Kathryn's face, tears rolling down his cheeks. It could not be time... not yet ... not yet.

The Doctor appeared. He was momentarily surprised to see the First Officer in bed with the Captain, but Chakotay's distress and the Captain's unconscious state, made him forget it instantly.

"I think she's unconscious," Chakotay said as the Doctor approached the bed.

The Doctor scanned her with his tricorder. Then he stepped back, his face betraying his despair.

"She has slipped into a coma. There's nothing more we can do, Commander."

Chakotay shook his head. "No, she... No..." He gathered her close. "Don't die, Kathryn. Please don't die..." He could say no more as the tears choked him.

The Doctor watched him helplessly. He had always suspected the Commander had feelings for the Captain beyond friendship, but never could he have imagined that he loved her so much. He had promised the Captain he would not tell Chakotay the true nature of her illness, but he and Seven had made developments and he was sure they were on the brink of a cure. Breaking a promise would be a small price to pay for saving her life.

"There might be a way of saving her," he said at last.

Chakotay drew away from Kathryn. "What do you mean?"

"I promised the Captain I would not tell you, but I ... I feel that I must."

Chakotay got out of the bed. "If there is anything we can do to save her, anything at all, you have to tell me."

"The virus the Captain is suffering from is the same virus you and she contracted five years ago while on the planet you named New Earth. I thought you were both cured of it, but only you, in fact, actually were. In the Captain it merely went into remission and has now recurred, more powerful than it was before. For some reason the insect bite is harmless in a natural m-class environment, but is lethal in an artificial one, such as we have on Voyager. Why, I have never been able to understand, and still don't understand despite all my work on the virus. But Seven and I believe we are on the verge of finding a cure, but it will take a few more days before we can be certain. When I first discovered what was wrong with the Captain, I wanted to put her on a suitable m-class planet while we find a cure, but she would not hear of it." He paused. "As she is now, the Captain will die any minute, but putting her in stasis should preserve her life until we find a planet."

"Then we'll do that."

The Doctor put his hand on Chakotay's shoulder. "The Captain's illness is very advanced, Commander. It's possible that neither an m-class planet or a cure will do her any good now."

"I understand," Chakotay replied. "But if there's a chance, just a fraction of chance, that she may make a recovery, then I want us to try."

**END OF CHAPTER ONE**


	3. Chapter 3

_Star Trek Voyager_ is the property of Paramount Pictures. 

**AURORA**

**CHAPTER TWO**

It took the crew three days to find a suitable planet, but as soon as they found one, they moved with all haste to set up a home there for the Captain and Commander. At last everything was ready and Kathryn could be brought out of stasis. The stasis chamber was transported from Voyager to the living room of the shelter, where Chakotay and the Doctor were waiting alone to receive her. Chakotay knelt on the floor beside the chamber. Through the glass he could see Kathryn lying inside. Her face was as white as snow and even her lips were white now. The Doctor hesitated before deactivating the chamber.

"Remember, Commander, there is a chance it's too late for the Captain to respond to the environment."

Chakotay nodded, but believed with his whole heart that she would wake up.

The Doctor deactivated the chamber and the lid slowly drew back. Chakotay held his breath as he waited for her to respond.

Nothing.

He looked up at the Doctor, tears welling in his eyes.

"Give her time," the Doctor said gently.

Chakotay took her hand in his. "Wake up, Kathryn," he whispered. "Please wake up."

The Doctor knelt at the opposite side of the chamber. "Her body is starting to respond."

Color slowly seeped back into her cheeks and Chakotay felt her hand warm in his.

"She's regaining consciousness."

Chakotay watched as she stirred and her eyes fluttered open. He smiled through tears as her eyes rested on his and he squeezed her hand. Her eyes caught a glimpse of the stasis chamber and slowly she became aware of unfamiliar surroundings. Anxiety gripped her. "Where am I?"

"We are on an m-class planet," Chakotay said gently. "You and I are going to stay here while the Doctor and Seven continue to work on a cure for you."

Tears welled in her eyes and she sat up. "I did not want that!" She saw the Doctor beside her and turned to him. "You promised me you would not tell him! You promised!"

"I know, Captain, and I'm sorry. But I had to tell the Commander."

"No you did not! It was my request that you be silent! I will not have precious time wasted searching in vain for a cure for me!"

"Captain," the Doctor protested.

"You will return me to Voyager immediately and let the illness take it's course."

Chakotay seized her shoulders. "No, Kathryn. You will stay here on this planet. The Doctor is on the verge of a cure and we will wait until he has one. The crew need you. You can't let them down now."

He hoped this would sway the argument in his favor, and he was relieved to see that it did. Kathryn turned again to the Doctor.

"Alright, if you are close to a cure." She paused. "How close are you, exactly?"

"Two or three days, a week at most."

"Then I give you a week. If, after that time, we still have no cure, then we'll return to Voyager and continue our journey. Is that understood?"

"Yes, Captain."

She turned to Chakotay. "Chakotay?"

He simply nodded.

"Now, Doctor, return to the ship and continue working. You waste your time here."

"I must make sure that you are..."

"I'll be alright. The atmosphere is restoring my health just as you predicted it would. Now, return to the ship."

"Yes, Captain," he replied, getting to his feet. He tapped his commbadge, requested transportation, and then dematerialized.

Chakotay helped Kathryn out of the chamber and she looked around at the shelter. It was identical to the one they had shared five years earlier. It was as though she had stepped back in time. And it was a time that had given her joy, but also much pain. She turned to her First Officer. She was furious with the Doctor for breaking his promise to her, but she could not be angry with Chakotay.

"Well, Commander," she smiled. "I don't know about you, but for some reason I have a distinct feeling of de ja vu."

He smiled, his eyes moist with tears. It was so good to see her well again. "I certainly have that feeling too." His eyes twinkled mischievously. "But it occurs to me that we are hardly in a command structure anymore. Maybe you should call me Chakotay."

She smiled at the memory. "Give me a few days on that one, okay?"

He stepped closer and gazed deep into her eyes. "Why didn't you tell me the truth about your illness?"

"Because I knew you would insist on me taking refuge on a planet. I thought it would be just delaying the inevitable and making matters worse for everyone in the process." She touched his face. "And I kept the truth from you because I thought it would make things easier for you, not because I wanted to deceive you. Please understand."

He took her hand and smiled softly. "I understand."

Kathryn smiled in return, and, aware she was losing herself in the depth of his eyes, stepped away from him. "Do you know what I could do with right now?"

"Let me guess, a coffee?"

She laughed. "You know me too well."

"I'll get us both one. You sit down and rest. Your body has been through a lot in the past week."

Kathryn sat on the blue Starfleet couch as Chakotay went over to the replicator. "How long was I in stasis?"

"Three days."

Three days. It seemed only minutes since she was lying in Chakotay's arms. She looked out of the window. It was pitch black outside and stars twinkled in the heavens. It had to be night.

"You should have let the Doctor examine you," Chakotay said, bringing over the coffees.

"Oh, I'll be fine," she said, taking the cup Chakotay offered her. "I feel stronger by the minute."

"Would you like something to eat?"

"No ... thankyou."

Chakotay sat beside her and watched her drink her coffee. "It's so good to have you back, Kathryn."

Kathryn looked up at him with a smile. "Just good?"

"Well," he teased, "being in charge does have its advantages."

He smiled, but all Kathryn noticed was how tired he looked, how dark the shadows were beneath his eyes. He had aged ten years over the past three days. His eyes once again found hers and time seemed suspended as she gazed into them. Then a sharp pain knifed her insides and she clutched her stomach. Chakotay put his hand on her shoulder and took her cup. "You should get some rest."

Kathryn nodded. "Perhaps that would be wise."

She stood up slowly, her body still weak. "Goodnight, Chakotay."

He smiled warmly. "Goodnight, Kathryn."

He watched her walk across the room and to the door that led to their sleeping chambers. She stopped as she reached the door and turned to him.

"Chakotay?"

"Yes?"

"Thank you."

"For what?"

"For staying here with me."

She smiled with so much warmth that he caught his breath. Then she was gone.

* * *

"This planet is so beautiful," Kathryn said, gazing at the fields and rich woodland that stretched out before her as she and Chakotay walked arm in arm along a river bank. "My sister would love it here. She would take one of her ginormous painting pads and sit on one of those rocks over there and paint for hours. She is a wonderful artist. I wish I had some of her work to show you."

"You can show me when we get to earth," Chakotay smiled.

Kathryn returned his smile and tightened her grasp of his arm. "We will have to think of a name for this place. Something a little more imaginative than New Earth."

"The name was your idea," he laughed. "You said explorers always name new found lands after their home, preceding the title with new."

Kathryn opened her mouth, about to defend herself, when she heard a rustling in the trees. She stopped walking, as did Chakotay. "Did you hear that?"

"Yes," Chakotay replied. "It must be a creature of some kind." He cast her a teasing glance. "Perhaps it's your pet monkey from New Earth."

They heard the noise again and then both gasped in astonishment as the animal came into sight.

"A unicorn," Kathryn whispered, gazing in wonder at the fantastic horse-like creature before them. It had fur of the purest white and its silver horn was dazzling in the bright afternoon sun. The animal seemed to sense their presence and turned to look at them. Chakotay protectively put his arm around Kathryn, but it was not hostility he saw in the animal's eyes, but kindness. The animal lowered its head and prostrated itself before them.

"It's welcoming us," Kathryn said.

The Unicorn then got up and Kathryn and Chakotay watched in amazement as it sprouted the most magnificent silver wings and took to the skies. More unicorns joined it, each one a different color, and they soared through the sky so quickly that they left behind a rainbow. Kathryn raised her hand to her head to shield her eyes from the sun and gazed up at it in wonder.

"Aurora," she whispered. "That's what we'll call this planet. Aurora, a world at the dawn of time."

* * *

Rain beat down on the shelter and Kathryn listened to the drops dance on the roof as she lay in bed. It had been years since she had heard the sound of rain, and when she closed her eyes, she could imagine she was back on earth, in her own house, in her own bed, Molly sleeping contentedly at her feet. How she had missed her precious dog. She doubted the animal was still alive now, and even if she was, knew there was not much chance of her remembering her old mistress. She glanced at the petition that separated her bedroom from Chakotay's. It was a thin petition of frosted glass and she could see shadows move as he tossed and turned. She watched him with the growing awareness that he was having a bad dream. She could hear him murmur softly in his sleep. Then he cried out with words that stung her heart.

"No, Kathryn!"

Then all was silent.

Kathryn sat up in the darkness and gazed at Chakotay's shadow. Her heart ached from his pain and the thought that she was the cause of it. She heard a soft muffled noise and realized he was weeping. It must have been a terrible dream. Or was he weeping for another reason? Perhaps because he still loved her? She took a deep breath. She had no right to think that, not after the way she had always treated him. And yet she hoped with her whole heart that he did still love her. She wiped away stray tears from her cheeks. It was no good wondering any more. They had to talk. She got out of bed, put on her dressing gown, and made her way into his bedroom.

* * *

Chakotay was sitting at the edge of his bed, staring out of the window. His tears glistened in the pale moonlight. He turned to look at Kathryn as she entered the room, and for a moment she saw fear in his eyes; fear and shame. He wiped away his tears and stood up. Even in the dim light she could see that he was trembling.

"We need to talk," she said firmly.

"What about?"

"About us." She paused. "Come on. I'll make us both a coffee."

* * *

Chakotay waited in the living room as Kathryn replicated the coffee. He felt exactly as he had done five years before after his offer to massage her sore neck ended so disastrously. Spending all day and all night with her, it was just impossible to continuously hide his feelings. Kathryn came in and handed him a cup of coffee, cream with two sugars, just as he liked it, and sat in the chair opposite him.

"You and I have been friends a long time," she said at last, her eyes fixed on the steaming coffee. "But for the past two years we've grown apart. You've had lady friends and I..." She smiled wryly. "I've had a hologram." She paused. "For me it was easier to let a rift grow between us than to try and deal with how I really felt about you. I wanted you to fall madly in love with someone so that our relationship could then be defined." She hesitated. "Five years ago you told me how you felt about me, and showed me so many times afterwards in all that you did. But I ... I was not ready. I pushed you away, treated you terribly... Then, when I did realize the depth of my feelings for you, I thought it was too late for us. And then there was the command structure and I couldn't let anything distract me from getting Voyager home... But now that we'll soon be there, I would like..." She put her coffee down on the table, aware she was not making herself at all clear. "What I'm trying to say," she whispered, "is that I love you and have for a long time." She wiped away a tear. "I just can't do ancient legends as well as you."

She felt Chakotay's hands on hers and looked up at him. He was kneeling on the floor before her. His eyes were wet with tears, but there was such a joy burning inside them.

"Those words mean more than any ancient legend ever could," he whispered sincerely. He touched her face. "I love you, Kathryn Janeway. I fell in love with you the very first day we met and I will love you until the day I die."

Kathryn smiled through tears and stood up. He did too, and slowly they drew each other close. They held each other long, neither wanting to move or speak for fear of breaking the spell. At last they drew apart and gazed at each other in wonder, as though they were seeing each other for the first time. Kathryn tenderly traced the course of Chakotay's tattoo until he seized her hand and kissed it softly. He touched her beautiful hair, skimming his hand over it as though he was touching something sacred. Kathryn's heart beat faster and faster as they drew closer and their touches became more intimate. She felt his warm breath on her face and closed her eyes as his lips touched hers in a soft kiss. Then he drew slightly away from her and traced the course of a tear down her cheek, his own falling in rhythm. "We can't do this, Kathryn," he whispered.

"Why not?"

"Because here, on this planet, reality is suspended. There is no command structure, no crew depending on us to get them home. We are just Kathryn and Chakotay. What happens when we are back on Voyager and we are Captain and First Officer again? What happens if what we believe is a way home turns out to be a dead end? If we take this step now, I could never go back to how things were between us."

"I don't want things to be how they were between us, "she said sincerely. "Whether that wormhole is a way home or not, I want us to be together." She clutched his hands tight and her voice cracked with emotion. "I need you to be strong for me, Chakotay. I know I always seem so strong, that I always know what to do, what to say, but usually I'm really quite scared." Her tears trickled on to his hands. "And I'm afraid that if I let you into my life, one day you won't be there any more."

Chakotay brushed her tears with his fingers. "Like walking alone down an empty street in winter. The wind and rain batter your body and you long to take shelter in one of the many houses at either side of you. You see the warm glow of lights in the windows, see families sitting around fires, hear children laughing. A door opens and for a moment you think it is opening for you, but just as you reach it, it closes. Then, when someone does open a door for you, you walk on by because you assume that door will eventually close too."

Kathryn stroked his cheek and gazed into his eyes. If she had suffered many sorrows in her life, he had suffered just as much. He had always wanted to belong, and she had always wanted to be loved just for who she was, not what she was or what she could be.

"I'm going to hedge all my bets on this door," she whispered, "if you will hedge all yours too."

"Even my life," he replied.

She kissed him softly and then deepened the kiss as he gathered her close. It was the kiss he had longed for all his life; the kiss of loving and being loved, measure for measure.

* * *

Chakotay held Kathryn tight in his arms as they lay together in her bed after making love. He kissed her forehead and she felt a tear trickle from his cheek onto hers.

She raised herself to look at him and touched his tears tenderly. "Why the tears?"

"Because I can't believe this is really happening," he whispered. "Any moment now I think I will wake up to find this is all a dream." He gazed deep into her eyes. "I love you so much, Kathryn."

"I love you too," she whispered.

"And you meant what you said, even if the wormhole..."

She put her fingers to his lips. "No ifs, no buts. This is forever."

She lowered her mouth to his and kissed him softly.

* * *

"Doctor to Captain Janeway."

Kathryn put down the candles she had just lit for her meal with Chakotay. "Go ahead, Doctor."

"I have news."

Chakotay was immediately by her side and he put his arm around her as they waited for his words.

"Seven and I have finished our work on a cure. I will not go into detail about how the cure will work now as it would take too long ... unless you want me to, of course."

"No, Doctor," Kathryn said, taking Chakotay's hand. "Just tell me what the cure involves."

"A blood transfusion. Commander Chakotay has anti-bodies to the virus in his blood, anti-bodies the medicine failed to produce in you. The only way to make you immune to the effects of the virus is to insert those anti-bodies into your body via a blood transfusion."

"Is that all that is necessary, Doctor?"

"Yes, Captain. Fortunately your matching blood types will make the process easy as differences will not have to be compensated for. We will, however, have to draw blood from you as the Commander's blood enters you to maintain an equilibrium. The transfusion needs to be done as soon as you return to the ship, otherwise you will fall ill again. I have scheduled it for tomorrow morning, providing that Commander Chakotay is willing to go through with it. I have seen grown men cringe with fear at the mere sight of a needle and..."

"Doctor," Chakotay, interrupted, "I would gladly give every last drop of blood in me to help the Captain."

"That won't be necessary," he replied. "A pint will be sufficient." He sighed. "Now, Captain, I suggest that you both eat plenty and have a good nights sleep. You will need your strength tomorrow."

Kathryn winked at Chakotay. "We will, Doctor."

* * *

The Doctor and Seven waited in sickbay for Kathryn and Chakotay to be transported there directly. The Captain and Commander materialized and the Doctor greeted them both with a smile. "Welcome back Captain, Commander."

Kathryn smiled. "It's good to be back, Doctor." She turned to Seven. "And how are you, Seven?"

"I am well, Captain," she said, trying to suppress her joy at the Captain's return. "But you will not be if we do not get on with the transfusion."

The Doctor stepped forward and took Kathryn's arm. "Quite so. We have no time to waste. Every second on this ship weakens your body. Seven, prepare Commander Chakotay for the transfusion and I will see to the Captain."

"Yes, Doctor."

She led Chakotay over to a boiled and began to insert a drip into his arm. The Doctor led Kathryn over to the bed next to Chakotay's. Kathryn climbed upon it and lay down. "I can't believe the cure is so simple, Doctor."

"No, Captain," he said, scanning her with his tricorder, "but sometimes it's the simple answers that most often elude us. We spend so much time..." He stopped in mid sentence as he read the information on his tricorder and seemed surprised. There was something he was not expecting.

"Is everything alright, Doctor?"

"Yes, Captain," he said, putting down the tricorder. "Everything is fine."

But his voice did not seem to suggest that or his following words. "Seven, we will need more blood from Commander Chakotay. Increase the amount by twenty five percent."

"Yes, Doctor."

"Something is wrong," Kathryn said, about to sit up.

"Be still, Captain," the Doctor said firmly. "Nothing is wrong."

Kathryn settled back down on the bed and glanced at Chakotay as the Doctor fixed a drip to both her arms. He was lying on the bed and his blood was already filling the clear tube ready to make its way into her body. He smiled warmly at her and the love in his eyes was more of a comfort in that moment than he could ever have imagined. She lay back against her pillow, closed her eyes, and remembered the wonderful three days they had spent together, and, for the first time in seven years, looked forward to the future.

* * *

When the transfusion was done, Kathryn wished to return to her quarters, but the Doctor insisted on her staying in sick bay. He wanted to keep an eye on her for the next few days, and with Chakotay seconding everything he said, she had no choice but to stay there. Kathryn took Chakotay's hands in hers when they were finally left alone.

"All this fuss about me," she said, "but how are you feeling?"

"I'm fine," he smiled. "I'm just so glad that you're finally cured."

She smiled warmly. "Being sick was a small price to pay for the wonderful three days we had together."

Chakotay kissed her hand. "We need to talk about what happens now."

"Yes." She hesitated, unsure how he would take her next words. "I think we should keep quiet about our relationship for the moment. In a few weeks we will be back in the Alpha Quadrant. I don't want the crew to think being so close to home means they can take liberties. We need to set an example. This crew needs to be focussed now more than ever."

"I agree," he replied. "And we have sacrificed our feelings all these years so that a personal relationship doesn't interfere with a professional one. It would be foolish of us to be unprofessional now."

Kathryn smiled at his understanding.

"I've also been thinking about what happens when we get home," Chakotay continued. "I know Starfleet says we former Maquis members will be exonerated and can look forward to careers in Starfleet, but I don't want to continue with Starfleet. I would like to pursue my interest in planetology. How would you feel about that?"

Kathryn laughed. "Oh Chakotay, what ever you want to do is fine with me." She fell serious again and put her hand to his face. "And to tell the truth, I would be a lot happier with you in a "safe" profession. After I lost Justin..."

She had been afraid of loving another man in her profession because of the dangers... "I know," Chakotay whispered, squeezing her hand. "And I won't pretend it will be easy for me, you being away for weeks on dangerous missions. I'll probably go crazy."

"Well," she smiled, "I'm told I'll be made an Admiral when we get home. That means I'll be working on the ground, not in space. And anyway, I'm going to take a break from Starfleet for a while. For seven years I have been captain day in day out. I want to be simply Kathryn for a while." She paused deliberately. "And your wife."

Chakotay gazed at her. Did she mean what he thought she meant? "Is that ... is that a proposal?"

"Only if you accept," she said, tears welling in her eyes at his joy.

"Yes, Kathryn," he whispered tearfully, drawing her into his arms. "Yes, yes, yes."

* * *

**TWO MONTHS LATER**

"Coffee, black."

Kathryn waited as the cup of coffee materialized and then picked it up casually as she looked through a report on the ship's systems that Tuvok had prepared for her. She raised the coffee to her mouth, but for some reason, the smell made her feel queasy. She put down the cup and sat on her couch. She had been feeling unwell for the past few days and was continually tired. It had to be the virus again. She could think of no other explanation. She had always thought a transfusion was too simple an answer. All it had given her was two months relief from the effects of the virus. She buried her head in her hands. She was so looking forward to the future, to a new life with Chakotay. Now all that would be cruelly snatched from her, from both of them. If the virus acted as quickly as before, then she would be dead in days. There was, of course, always the option of finding another m-class planet for them to live on, one that was close enough to the wormhole so that a detour would not jeopardize the crew's chance of getting home, but she could not ask Chakotay to live out the rest of his life on an unknown, unnamed, planet in the Delta Quadrant.

The Door chime sounded.

"Come in!"

It was Chakotay. "I've come to take you to breakfast."

"I'm not hungry," she said, leaning back against the couch.

"You've got to eat, Kathryn. You're still weak after the virus. You've got to build up your strength."

"I'm alright!"

Chakotay was momentarily taken aback by her vehemence.

. "I'm sorry," Kathryn said, standing up. "I just don't have the time. And you should be in Engineering. B'Elanna wishes to speak to you."

"Kathryn..."

"I really don't have time to indulge in social niceties, Chakotay. Now, get to Engineering!"

Tears welled in Chakotay's eyes at her coldness. She had been distant with him for days. It was as though she could not even bear to be around him.

"As you were," he whispered, and silently left the room.

When he was gone, Kathryn sat on her couch and wept.

* * *

Chakotay was a million light years away as B'lanna told him about some of the problems they could encounter as they traveled through the wormhole. She was aware he was not really listening to her and discontinued her talk. "Alright, big guy. Tell me what's wrong."

"Nothing's wrong," he said defensively.

"For the past ten minutes, all you've done is stare vacantly into space and you haven't heard a word I've said. Something is wrong." She put her hand on his arm. "Do you want to talk about it over a coffee and a donut in my quarters?"

He hesitated, but then nodded.

* * *

B'lanna watched Chakotay stir the coffee around and around. "This something on your mind," she asked, "is it the Captain?"

His silence was all the answer she needed.

"Let me guess. You don't know whether you should tell her that you love her now that we're almost home."

Chakotay looked up at her and had to smile at that. "Are my feelings for the Captain so obvious?"

"Yes," she said, returning his smile. "And you should tell her, Chakotay. I'm certain she feels the same way."

He hesitated before speaking, not sure if it was appropriate to talk about his relationship with Kathryn. But he had to confide in someone. "She said that she did," he said quietly. "When we were on the planet we both confessed our feelings for each other. We've even talked of marriage and made plans for when we get back to earth. Kathryn would like us to marry on a beach in Hawaii and..." He rubbed his tired eyes. "But for the past week she's been distant with me, argumentative. And now it's as though she can't even bear to be in the same room with me." He paused. "All I can think is that she's having second thoughts about us."

B'Elanna took his hand. " If the Captain told you that she loves you, then she means it. Captain Janeway doesn't play games. Perhaps she's worried about using the wormhole or, like the rest of us, has mixed feelings about getting back to earth. We've been on this ship so long, it won't be easy for any of us to adjust back to life on earth. It'll be so much harder for her as for seven years the only thing she has thought about is getting this ship home. Whatever's troubling her, I would stake my life on it not being you."

* * *

Kathryn sat on a golden beach and watched as waves crashed against black rocks and burst into white spray. She had always loved the ocean. The sight and sound of the waves breaking on the shore was so calming, so comforting. Chakotay approached her, walking slowly across the sand. When he had not found her in her Ready Room or her quarters, he had asked the computer to locate her, and was told she was in Holodeck Two. From the corner of her eye, Kathryn saw him approach, and she stood up. The light breeze rippled through the long flowered dress she was wearing and blew her hair away from her face. Chakotay thought she had never looked more beautiful. As he got closer, he saw the remnants of tears on her face.

He slipped his arm around her and touched her tears. "Tell me what's wrong, Kathryn."

She hesitated, but knew she could not deny the truth. "I think I'm ill again," she whispered. "For the past week or so I've had headaches and nausea and am so tired."

She could not hold back the tears and Chakotay drew her close. He held her a long time, struggling to suppress his own fears to be strong for her.

"We must not jump to conclusions," he said softly.

"What other conclusion is there? Two months ago I was dying from a virus, and now I have the symptoms again."

Chakotay drew her away from him. "It could be a number of things."

"No, it's the virus. I'm certain."

He touched her face. "If it is, then we'll face it together. If need be, we'll find an m-class planet and live there."

She shook her head. "I couldn't let you sacrifice your only chance of..."

He put his fingers to her lips. "I love you, Kathryn. A life without you would be no life at all." He kissed her softly. "Come on, let's go and see the Doctor."

* * *

The Doctor was sitting at his desk when Kathryn and Chakotay arrived at sickbay. He stood up at their approach, but did not seem too surprised to see them. "Take a seat, Captain, Commander," he said kindly.

"We're fine standing, Doctor," Kathryn said nervously.

"As you wish," he replied, briefly scanning her with his tricorder and then putting it down.

"For the past few days the Captain has been feeling unwell," Chakotay began. "We're worried it's the virus again."

The Doctor smiled. "That is not the case, I can assure you."

"Then why am I ill, Doctor?"

The Doctor hesitated. "I would like to speak to you privately about that, Captain." He turned to Chakotay. "If you would wait outside, Commander."

Chakotay looked at Kathryn, his eyes asking her whether he should leave. She gave a reluctant nod and he left the room.

"I would be happier if you took a seat, Captain," the Doctor said.

Kathryn did not argue this time, and sat down. "What is this about, Doctor? What is wrong with me?"

"There's nothing wrong with you, Captain," he smiled. "You're pregnant."

For a long moment Kathryn just stared at him. Then she spoke. "There has to be some mistake. I can't have children any more."

"There's no mistake, Captain. I detected the baby's life sign as soon as you and Commander Chakotay returned to the ship. But I didn't say anything as I wanted you to make the discovery for yourself."

"I don't understand how this can be. You know I started going through the menopause months ago."

"Until ovulation ceases altogether, there is still a chance a woman will conceive. And you have conceived, Captain." He went over to her and placed the tricorder before her. "See for yourself."

Kathryn took the tricorder and studied the data. "A life sign inside me," she said, tears welling in her eyes.

"Yes, Captain. Your baby's life sign."

Kathryn looked up at him and then stood up, drawing him close. The Doctor returned her embrace. She then suddenly drew away.

"The virus ... Will it have..."

"Your baby is perfectly healthy and immunized against the effects of the virus, as are you."

Kathryn smiled in happy relief.

"You do realize," he continued, "this will mean having to take good care of yourself. A first pregnancy at your age is..."

"Yes, yes, Doctor," Kathryn said impatiently.

"You'll have to sleep proper hours, eat regularly, cut down on coffee, take more time to relax, do all prescribed exercises and..."

"All and everything," Kathryn interrupted.

"I hope so, Captain. You are so negligent when it comes to your own well being that I..."

"Doctor," Kathryn smiled, already making her way out of the room. "I will be the model patient. I will take good care of my baby."

She disappeared through the door and leant her back against it as it shut behind her. Chakotay, who had been sitting on one of the biobeds waiting for her, stood up. His face was a mask of concern but it began to dissipate when he saw the blissful happiness on Kathryn's face. She walked over to him and threw her arms around him. "We're going to have a baby," she cried. "We're going to have a baby!"

It took a moment for the words to register, and then Chakotay laughed through tears and lifted her in the air from absolute joy.

The Doctor watched them through the glass. How long they had been lovers, he did not know. Perhaps it had been months, perhaps years. But their relationship had obviously been a secret, and with Voyager perhaps only weeks away from the Alpha Quadrant, he would not divulge that secret now. All he knew was that he had never seen either of them so happy, and thought no two people in the universe deserved to be so more than them.

* * *

**SEVEN MONTHS LATER**

Kathryn cradled her new-born daughter in her arms, her eyes wet with joyful tears. This was a moment she had never imagined would happen in her life. Chakotay kissed her damp forehead and Kathryn nestled closer to him. It had been a long, hard, labor, and she was exhausted. Chakotay gazed in wonder at his daughter. He could hardly believe this beautiful baby was his. Kathryn passed him the child and a single silent tear ran down his cheek as he took her in his arms. Kathryn watched him and wiped away her own tear. For months they had toyed with names for their baby, what to call her if she was a boy, what if a girl, as they had not wanted to know the gender. But now, in this moment, it was perfectly clear what they should name her. Kathryn slipped her arm around her husband. "We will name her Aurora, after the place we finally found each other, and where our love made her."

**  
END OF CHAPTER TWO  
**


	4. Chapter 4

**_Star Trek Voyager_ characters are the property of Paramount Pictures.**

**AURORA**

**EPILOGUE**

Chakotay sat before a cozy log fire that crackled in the hearth. Outside the window, snow fell, and the distant snow capped mountains glistened in the silver moonlight. He got up, and went over to the large window to close the rust velvet curtains that adorned it. Stars twinkled amidst the falling snow, and for a moment he gazed up at them. It was hard to imagine that Kathryn was somewhere amongst them. They looked so far away, as though it would take an eternity to reach them. Looking at them now, it seemed as though his life in the Delta Quadrant belonged to another existence.

He fingered the gold ring on his left hand, and tears welled in his eyes as he remembered the last time he had seen his wife. He had not wanted her to go on this mission and for days they had argued about it. He argued that she had not commanded a ship in over sixteen years and should let someone else go. But Starfleet was reluctant to be involved at all, and would only agree to help the Talaxians if Kathryn personally lead the mission. Neelix and his people needed her, she said. If she did not help them, they would all be destroyed by a species called the Unortan. He argued it was too risky, that even if she was not killed, there was a strong chance of her being stranded in the Delta Quadrant again. Starfleet may have developed technology to create wormholes, but use of them was new and the novelty made them highly dangerous and unpredictable. She had left on the mission regardless of his words, and without his blessing or a good-bye. He had tried to get in touch with her before her ship took off, just to heal the wound between them and tell her that he loved her. But there was atmospheric turbulence and communication with the ship could not be established. Perhaps he would never get the chance to right the wrong now. He had been selfish in wanting to keep her from going, he knew, but although he had come close to losing her many times during the Voyager years, the pain never lessened at the thought of his life without her. If anything, it only deepened.

He closed the curtains and went back to his chair before the fire. He picked up a photograph of Kathryn with four year old Aurora, taken while they were picnicking in the mountains. Aurora looked so much like Kathryn, except for her dark brown eyes and dark hair which she had inherited from him. Now, at fifteen years of age, she was growing into a very beautiful young woman. It was a relief to him, and he knew to Kathryn, that she had no interest in joining Starfleet. It was a rewarding profession, but a dangerous one, and neither of them wanted to lose her. History and literature was her passion, and to step into her bedroom was to leave the twenty fourth century behind. Every now and then a new antique would crop up somewhere in the house and the library was full of antiquarian books she had accumulated. She could recite poems from all the great poets of history, and knew in detail each one of Shakespeare's plays. Her intelligence was advanced for her age, but with a mother like Kathryn, he would have expected nothing else. Motherhood and marriage had changed Kathryn. She took life at an easier pace now, and took time to enjoy the simple pleasures of life. She enjoyed nothing more than sitting before the fire listening to her daughter read one of the classics to her.

"They say if you stare long enough into the flames, you'll see images there."

Chakotay froze at the sound of Kathryn's voice. Then he looked up and saw her standing before him, complete in her Starfleet uniform. He had been so lost in thought that he had not heard her come in. She smiled at him with tears in her eyes and he instantly took her in his arms and held her tight. All that had passed between them before she left was already forgotten.

At last they drew away and he studied her carefully. She looked tired and he could tell the mission had been a difficult one. He brushed his fingers against her cheek. "It was tough?"

She nodded. "We suffered many casualties. The Unortans were much more advanced than we thought and it took all that we had to defeat them." She put her hand over his and held it to her cheek. "We got back about an hour ago and I transported home as soon as I could."

Chakotay gazed deep into her eyes. "I love you so much, Admiral Kathryn Janeway."

She smiled through tears. "I love you too ... Dr Chakotay Janeway."

She touched his lips with her own and deepened the kiss as he responded.

* * *

Aurora locked her photo album and put the key back into her jewelry box. She watched the ballerina dance and left the lid open to hear the pleasant melody while she brushed her long hair. There was a knock at the door and she closed the lid, silencing the music.

"Come in."

The door was reflected in the mirror and she gazed at it, expecting her father or housekeeper, Lauren, to come in. Her heart skipped a beat when she saw her mother enter. She turned to her, and Kathryn opened her arms wide. Laughing through tears, Aurora got up and ran into them.

**THE END**


End file.
